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a happy post for once! [08 Nov 2011|05:45pm]
Today is a happy post.
I've come to terms with the fact that I very well may have a serious issue of codependency but realising it is the first step to getting better. I've got to start liking myself again and things will be so much better. I never really got to have time to heal after my ex and only just as I had started liking myself again, my current boyfriend came into the picture. Just being with him made me happier than I had been for the last 4-5 years and I began to depend on him, and only him, for my happiness. Last week opened my eyes a lot and got me thinking real hard about my current situation. Even reading up on things to do with codependency got me a little scared as it described my personality almost exactly and told me that when I'm in a good relationship, I'll be trying to sabotage it because I'm used to what I had. I feel like I'd been trying to sabotage my relationship as I have outbursts of being that annoying, clingy, nagging girlfriend and that's not me at all.

Two things have made me feel so much better about myself already.
First: When I told my boyfriend a little about my problem (couldn't formulate something that made sense enough to explain the whole thing) I said that I hate myself and really need to start liking myself again. His response was, "Well I like you a lot so there's a start ^^". That made me feel a lot better about myself. No matter how many other people tell me things I seem to only listen to what my boyfriend says. Having him say that really made me listen to other people too. I think I've finally started accepting compliments for the first time in my life.

And second: After having Family Night last Sunday (Every Sunday night my mum, dad, sister, her boyfriend, my boyfriend and myself have dinner together) and noting the absence of my sister and her boyfriend (laaaaaame excuse for not turning up too!), we got to sampling some cider my boyfriend had brought over. One thing lead to another and we were going through our alcohol cupboard and decided to try all the weird and wonderful things we had in there... ended up having too much but was feeling majorly happy. I feel asleep (perhaps passed out... not sure haha!) on the couch and my dad and boyfriend were left talking to each other. After about an hour I woke up and we went to bed. My dad told me just then that they were talking about me for a while and my boyfriend had said that I was the best girlfriend he'd ever had because I treat him exactly as he'd treat me. He'd mentioned this in a message he sent me when we first started dating but he doesn't tell me these things anymore. Part of my insecurity is that I'm scared he's bored of me. I never felt good enough for my ex as he'd always tell me I didn't do my make-up nice enough, didn't wear nice enough clothes, was too fat etc... and no matter what I did he wasn't pleased. It's a weird feeling but when dad told me what he said I felt like crying. I was that happy. It's a nice feeling knowing that he still feels that way about me even if he doesn't show it sometimes. I really am lucky to have him and should really stop worrying^^

I'm also grateful for that fact that even though I don't have that many friends anymore (after Japan so many of my friends just couldn't be bothered contacting my anymore :(), the friends that I do have are such awesome, lovely people and I'm glad to have them in my life. I'm also glad that I'd finally decided to join the Sydney Lolita community. Such a nice, caring bunch of girls! I really should listen to what other people say when I'm feeling down and realise that they do mean it ^^ I'm a very lucky person in life right now. I just need to open my eyes a little more.
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Arty Posty [01 Dec 2010|12:08am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

So I've decided to finally get off my butt and back into designy stuff. The idea is to do at least one thing design related each day. I did that for about 2 weeks at the beginning of this year and then I got lazy again but this time round I'm really gonna try to stick to it. I'm a much happier person now so I've been itching to do something creative quite often lately!

So I'll start with this:

I got bored waiting for Tibby to come online so I started doodling a dragon... about 3 hours later this is the result. I'm only semi happy with it. It's only a sketch so I'm not going to fix it up or anything. Adding texture always seems to make sketches look nicer tho ^^

Anyways, I've lost my pencil so I think that's a sign to go to bed. Nighty night everyone

♥ erisu.
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Dreams and Asian porn! [16 Apr 2010|09:36pm]
No this post isn't going to be dirty but I did randomly stumble across Asian porn on my mac and couldn't resist noting it in the title XD Lately I've been having highly unusual dreams. I almost always dreams and can fall asleep and dream within seconds. Even falling alseep for a minute i can have a dream. Heck, I fainted once for 30 secs and had a dream! These recent dream are different to my usual ones in that I am very aware of what's happening around me for a long period of time and I've not been able to wake from one unroll I've been woken by an alarm or my phone.

I'll write about them under the cut to save friends pagesCollapse )

Tonight Jack, Jason and I had a lovely dinner at the little Italian restaurant around the corner. We had a lovely bottle of red wine (Wynns Cabernet Shiraz Merlot. Goregeous!) and I had a kangaroo steak. As usual we had oysters natural to start with and I don't care if people say aphrodisiacs don't actually work, these oysters were orgazmic XD
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日本のお友達が来るよ〜 [01 Feb 2010|01:05am]

I'm so excited!! In around 7 hours Kei and Eri will be arriving in Australia. Kei was my best friend when I lived in japan and Eri was a friend from my class. I've not seen them for 4 years! I'm so excited i think I'll burst into tears when I see them. I can't believe how quick time flies! 楽みに!!!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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日本のお友達が来るよ〜 [01 Feb 2010|01:05am]

I'm so excited!! In around 7 hours Kei and Eri will be arriving in Australia. Kei was my best friend when I lived in japan and Eri was a friend from my class. I've not seen them for 4 years! I'm so excited i think I'll burst into tears when I see them. I can't believe how quick time flies! 楽みに!!!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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[16 Jan 2010|02:55pm]
I made a Hello Kitty cake a while back and was going to upload photos of it... but I can't find them! I took photos at each step too! Ah well.

When we were last in Hong Kong Pazo bought me a Hello Kitty microwave cake kit. He knows I love Hello Kitty so he bought it as a gift (He's Jack's cousin's husband). I finally got around to making it. It comes with a packet mix and a mould in the shape of Hello Kitty's face. Everything turned out except for the nose. It looked awesome.... but didn't taste spectacular.

Anyways, I'm still decided whether I want to go to Uni or work full time. I find out on the 20th whether or not COFA has accepted me. I passed my Diploma with Credit so that's a good sign.

Here, have a picture of Marshmallows.
The pink is strawberry flavoured!

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Jack's house on the Sims3 [26 Nov 2009|11:06pm]

Jack made this house for the Sims 3... but the Sims can't interact with it! After hours of making it he didn't realise that Sims can't walk up slopes so the "stairway" at the front is totally useless... oops. It's still fun to look at tho.
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Dir En Grey... [05 Nov 2009|01:15am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Man, I still get jealous whenever someone talks about how awesome a DIRU live was... I'm still cranky at that piss poor performance Kyo gave at Nagoya... worst... live... ever!

In other news I'm nearly finished TAFE forever! Yay!... but I still have a whole animation, a booklet, a 3D render of a character, a whole game in Flash and a portfolio to make... and I've barely started. Hehehe. Next three weeks are going to be fun... -_-;;

But on the bright side I have a job! Yay! And it's Chrissy casual so I can get lots of monies... but its at JBHI so all my monies will probably go there. haha. I've already got a list of things to get, family guy box sets, starwars dvds, Modern Warfare 2 for PS3 and I'm thinking of buying some more music DVDs and a few cables for my iPod in the car... Ah well. At least I can afford stuff starting next week.

No strawberries today but you can look at Bobbi. She's Jack's Grandma's Pekingese from China.

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Hurro Hong Kong! [25 Sep 2009|07:17pm]
Ok so I'm in Hong Kong (and found the most awesomest strawberry boots but of course they didn't fit!) and I'm in the part of Sha Tau Kok that's technically China (Need a special permit, there's only two entrances with armed guards to the area 24 hrs, need my passport to get in too etc...) so we're using China's internet... only LJ isn't blocked but facebook and youtube are. I don't get it *cries* all my farmville crops are gonna die! Ah well. Here I was, getting ready to give up 3 weeks of facebook but now It's 3 weeks of youtube and facebook... no Kevjumba, no Pyrobooby, no farmville for 3 weeks! I'll go into withdrawals!

Haha. Probably not. I'll find something else to do. Like those websites that let you watch whole movies for free... or maybe I'll try playing those free MMORPG games. That'd be cool.

On another note, Lily's teaching piano and the kiddies are sooooo much better than me! They kick my butt tenfold! I can't believe little children can play the piano like they do here! It's crazy!

I'm kinda hungry... hopefully I'll have dinner soon. Yay!

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Strawberry time! [02 Sep 2009|12:19pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I've gone through a few photos I've taken of strawberries and edited them very slightly. This makes me happy. I still don't know what it is that makes me want to photograph strawberries all the time but I've got a whole bunch I can upload to my journal now. Once again I am going to try to update with at least one picture of a strawberry (or similar hehe) to each journal entry. Yay for me!

In other news I've decided I actually want to study at COFA and do a Bachelor of Media Arts. The only problem is that it's going to be very hard to get into but if I do it'll be fantastic. I'll be living in the city next year too so it won't take me too long to get there ( I can walk or take a bus. I kind of like the idea of walking but whether or not I actually will is another story). It has exactly what I want to do and is one year shorter than UTS which is a big bonus to me. My TAFE course counts for next to nothing at Uni but I'm not seeing it as a waste of 3 years. Rather it's been 3 years of skill building and networking. I wouldn't have made the friends I have now (especially Jack hehe) and I wouldn't have the skills I have now.

If I wanted to I could go to SGC too but I think I like the idea of COFA better. Things are looking up and I'm looking forward to building my skills even more. I can even study Chinese and Japanese at the same time. Yay!

That's all for now. Heading of to TAFE... Jack and I are probably going to be the only ones to turn up. Haha.

Strawberries      Strawberries

I took these two at my sister's birthday ^^

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Life life life... how I hate you sometimes [29 Aug 2009|10:20pm]
I'd love life if it didn't make me think too hard o(>_<)o

I'm really stuck for what I should do next year. My two major options are to go to Uni for 4 years and spend at least the first 2 and a half doing what I've already done at TAFE (Apparently 2 years of a Diploma only lets you skip 2 subjects...) or trying to get a fulltime job preferably within the design industry.

Two major problems with both my option:
Uni - Will be studying for 4 year and possibly bored out of my mind
Job - hardly anyone who graduated last year actually got a job in the industry and I don't think I'd be any better.

Maybe I should just get a job for a year and see what I want to do.. I know I miss studying languages and if I do go to Uni I can have up to 6 electives... that means I could do Japanese again and pick up Chinese... but I really don't know :(

Life, why you so mean? o(T へ T)o
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Bah [23 Jun 2009|01:32am]
I hate it when people whinge about needing money to buy unnecessary things. There's a girl over at the EGL community who was complaining about how expensive brand shoes are and she "needs" to buy a pair of mary-janes to wear with her lolita clothes. I own one pair of shoes that aren't broken in some form or another and they're too small and leave blisters on my feet. I'd love a pair of lolita shoes but you know what? It aint gonna happen so tough titties. And tough titties to that girl. She should save her money and keep paying her car-insurance like a good little girl and understand that needs are different to wants.

Sorry for the bitching but I hate people who say they "need" something when in actuality it's not.
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Lady Gaga... [14 Jun 2009|01:20am]
I never used to pay much attention to Lady Gaga because she scares me. I saw an interview and was convinced that she is just another idiot with nothing intelligent to say (or it could be all just a big attention seeking act). THEN I see her in Japan wearing shiro-loli with yamamba makeup. WTF!? I reckon she'd make a good yamamba but mixing it with loli just proves she is an idiot. And no, her attempt at sweet-lolita with her Hello Kitty does not make up for it. That interview made me even more convinced that she's an idiot...I mean it is good that she's attempting to adapt to a style in Japan but I'm sorry Lady Gaga, you're doing it wrong!
I still can't decide who's worse: Gaga or Stefani? At least Gwen Stefani doesn't sound like a 5 year old girl when she talks.
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Song Copying....or remaking... or whatever. [18 Mar 2009|12:40am]
HA! I KNEW that this song

was in fact this song!

Everywhere in HK I heard this song and it annoyed the crap out of me. Why? Because I could hear it being sung in Japanese and English in my head yet I wasn't 100% sure. There was the possibility that I was going crazy and wanted to hear Japanese and English because there was hardly anything for me to sing at karaoke but anyways. Elsie plays this song sometimes so when I go to Jack's house it bugs me even more. What didn't help was that I couldn't remember any lyrics except for the word "story" so after much googling and youtubing I found that the song was in face "Endless Story" by Yuna Ito and it was for "Nana". I think it was released in 06 when I was in Japan which is why I knew it.

Yay! I have finally solved this mystery! Now there's a possum or something outside making demonic noises... it's scaring me... it might kill me in my sleep... do not want to sleep...
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What's wrong with the world? [06 Mar 2009|11:23pm]
I was going to attempt to post something nice but something's been bugging me a lot lately.

With the fires happening in Victoria, Queensland has been ignored. Does anyone care that %62 of the state was flooded? Everyone is forking out money for the bush fires but hardly anything is being done about the floods. I think it's unfair of the media to focus entirely on Victoria and only give a few sentences about Queensland. Sure Victoria has been hit worse but still, there's all this fund raising but Queensland is getting nothing. You would think that with a damage bill of over $210million that the general public would care but it doesn't appear that way.

I feel sorry for the Queenslanders effected by the floods and yes I do know the damage in Victoria is much worse but it's really sad that the media have just left the floods behind so they can probably get more ratings. We live in a sad world.
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Waaaaaaaaah! [16 Jan 2009|01:23am]
I hate you X-Japan!!!! Why oh why did I not know they were touring... even more they're in Hong Kong... I'm in Hong Kong but there's only single seats left and I have no monies *cries*

Why does the world torment me so?
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Languages [26 Nov 2008|10:41pm]
Man I LOVE languages.

My best friend in Japan and I email each other every now and then but I'm slack and don't email too often. (that plus I don't usually have much free time on the internet)

Anyways, she mentioned that she has msn and wasn't sure which address she used for it. I added her and she didn't seem to be online so I assumed it was a different e-mail she had... but then last night she signed on ^^

It's so awesome being able to talk to her again. Last night we spoke in Japanese and today we're speaking in English ^^ Fweee I'm so excited! It's fun when she uses words I don't know because then I have to rack my brain.... or use my dictionary. And When we speak English I try to use English in a way that is easy to understand without too much colloquialism. I miss learning languages so much.

I really want to become a Graphic Designer but would also love to be a Translator or Interpreter too... maybe I could have it both ways and get a Uni Degree then go work with Jack's cousin in China at Saatchi and Saatchi. Dick said I don't necessarily need to speak Chinese as there are already other foreigners within the agency who don't speak Chinese.... but I'd still want to learn.

Hmmm. I think I'll go back to doing TAFE work.... 7 assignments to do.... I'll pull another allnighter and I should be right.

Jack's back tomorrow! YAY!!!! So excite!!!! Jya.... I'll go do what I'm supposed to do.

♥ Elyse
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Chineses? [17 Nov 2008|12:40am]
[ mood | sad ]

Eeeks. Jack's in China at the moment and I tried ringing him... but I must've written down the wrong number

Jack just called.... he gave me his uncle's number instead of his (≧0≦)

I rang that number and some guy answered in Cantonese "Hello, hello, who is this?" ... my responses are very limited so I hung up. Thinking I may have dialed the wrong number I called again and he answered. This time in reply I said Jack's Chinese name.... then said "wrong number sorry" in English and hung up.

Feeling like and idiot for bothering some poor man in China I decided to call his house phone only I had no idea what to do if his Grandmother answers and he's not there. I can say "I'm Jack's girlfriend" in Cantonese but if he's not there that's no good because I wouldn't know what the heck she would be saying. So here I am googling away, trying to find a website that has basic phone conversations in Cantonese when Jack calls. I told him I'd tried to call him so he was just asking his uncle what his number is when his uncle must've told him that he'd just received a call from some stupid girl speaking English who said something that vaguely sounded like Jack's Chinese name...Then Jack realised it was his uncle's number he'd given me.(>д<;)

Ah well, at least I found a pretty good site for conversational basics with sound O(≧▽≦)O ワーイ♪

Here's a strawberry pic I took using Paolo's macro lense... for some reason the internet washed out the beautiful colour (´Д`。) I will find out why one day...

Why no pretty colour?!?!!?
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I maked charms. [26 Oct 2008|03:04pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I found a way to make little charms out of plastic so my sister and I have been going crazy... or rather my sister's been going crazy and I've made only two phone charms.
It's heaps of fun so I wanted to take a photo... but both cameras are at Jack's house so I used photobooth ^^ Yay for macs.

So here's a really really dodgy photoshop job on my picture so it's not so boring

ichigo to cherri

Ta-dah! I'll take a proper photo tomorrow or something. I'm so proud of myself...not back to tafe work.
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Twilight? [03 Oct 2008|12:45am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

What the heck is up with the Twilight series and why is it so popular?
Not only is it written poorly and the characters are always contradicting themselves but nothing happens and the two main characters are just so boring.
I have attempted to read this twice now and have made it halfway through the first book and quite frankly I couldn't care what happens in the rest of the series because it's so damned boring.
Never before have I picked up a book, read it for a bit and then put it down with the intention of never finishing it... except for Barry Trotter... only I am game enough to give that a try again.

Seriously, if someone could explain to me what's so good about this series I'd be curious to listen.
Right now, all I can say is that people say it's got a great balance between romance and action... I thought it had a balance of boring and boring.
Bella is so into Edward and ignores absolutely everything else in her life if he walks into the room. She shuns everyone and it seems she thinks she's better than everyone yet doesn't think she's good enough for Edward. She also thinks she's the most ordinary person in the world yet thinks she's so special... what the?
Edward is so into Bella because he can't read her mind... whoop-di-doo. He claims she is so unpredictable then goes on about how he's concerned about her because he knows what kind of trouble she'll get into. If she's so unpredictable how is he able to predict everything that happens to her?

I could rant more but I don't think I should. I think I'm just angry because everyone keeps telling me how good the series is. I was expecting something good but all I got was the most boring book ever. If there was some sort of a storyline it could have been better but so far it seems like there isn't one. Heck, I even read Anne Rice and enjoyed the stories but hated her writing but still read at least 6 of her books.

Damn you Twilight, I want those few hours of my life back.

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